Monday, February 6, 2012

scratch scratch scratch

let me in.


let me in.


 it's me. old age. creeping in. you let me in!

by Pearl Jam

The waiting drove me mad... you're finally here and I'm a mess
I take your entrance back... can't let you roam inside my head
I don't want to take what you can give... I would rather starve than eat your bread...
I would rather run but I can't walk...
Guess I'll lie alone just like before...
I'll take the varmint's path...
oh, and I must refuse your test
A-push me and I will resist...
this behavior's not unique
I don't want to hear from those who know...
They can buy, but can't put on my clothes...
I don't want to limp for them to walk...
Never would have known of me before...
I don't want to be held in your debt...
I'll pay it off in blood, let I be wed...
I'm already cut up and half dead...
I'll end up alone like I began...
Everything has chains...
absolutely nothing's changed
"Take my hand, not my picture," spelled my T-shirt
I don't want to take what you can give...
I would rather starve than eat your breast...
All the things that others want for me...
Can't buy what I want because it's free...
Can't buy what I want because it's free...
Can't be what you want because I'm...
Why ain't it sposed to be just fun
Oh, to live and die, let it be done
I figure I'll be damned, all alone like I began...
It's your move now...
I thought you were a friend, but I guess I, I guess I hate you..

Saturday, February 4, 2012

hell hath frozen over

2012 is definitely a New Year.
it is a good year. a better year.
it has already been a year of many firsts.

(so what if it's only been a month! cut me some slack.)

first time i've had resolutions and stuck to them. first year i've been easier on myself. first time i've dated a "nice" guy. first time i've been dumped. first time i've rocked a mullet. first year i've been real about stuff. first year i've loved cooking. first year i've considered botox. first time i've been this awesome.

from that list, the cooking part probably shocks us all the most.

i have cooked and actually really loved it. and loved what i've made. and others have loved what i've made. (well, one little lady did gag on my crock pot creation but ... )

on that note, here is what's up for Super Bowl Sunday and reason number 101 i'm excited for the game.

stuffed mushrooms
boneless chicken wings
seven-layer dips
homemade alfredo
parmesan garlic bread balls
Coctel de Camarones con Salsa Tomatillo

oh hell, just look here if you need the details.

the point of it all is simply that you should never say never. i am not really sure what sparked this newfound love, oh wait, yes, it was the vodka gummy bears recipe i found ... that's exactly where it all started. nevertheless, it's just really something!

last night, The Teenager actually said, "ugh, i've got to leave the kitchen. i'm starving and everything smells so good!"

who knows? maybe the Mayans are right after all.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Super Bowl XLVI

in 30 seconds, reasons 1 through 100 why i am watching the super bowl this year ...

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

math is more fun than ben

staying consistent with my lofty goals for 2012, i pledge to blog only about all things bright, new, and shiny. and serious. new, important things that will provide insight for all of mankind. topics dedicated to a cause. things i believe in. words formed together in sentences to make the world a better place.

to that end, i would like to talk about this travesty: The Bachelor.

holy jesus.

undoubtedly the biggest waste of time this year was the one hour or so i spent watching this week's episode. clearly people have lost their damned minds. this show, or at least this season of the show, is just unbelievably lame. this show -- "this show" being The Bachelor -- well, anyone contributing to it should be ashamed for using electricity (even solar-powered electricity ) to produce it. i know it isn't intended to be a psychological thriller or hard hitting documentary, but what? The Bachelor has no entertainment value whatsoever.

in all truthfulness, i am pretty sure i enjoyed the show (it's hard for me to even type the name, it is) a few years ago when it was somewhat interesting. i mean, don't get me wrong, it's no Temptation Island but even i enjoy mindless entertainment from time to time. anydamnway, i knew someone who was purportedly on it this season so innocently enough, i decided to DVR it. i sure did. fortunately (for her) she is not around on the episode i caught; apparently she escaped the possibility of becoming Bachelor Ben's future bride earlier in the season. unfortunately (for me) it was painful to watch.

first of all, this Ben guy? he's a complete dipshit.

question: does he always look this confused?
answer: yes.

question: is it annoying?
answer: yes.

in real life, this guy probably can't get one date. now he has sixteen or so crying about how they have "fallen for him" every night. that's totally real. and he has no redeeming qualities. he's not cute, he's not charismatic, he's not especially intelligent, and he's not funny, quirky, or tall. and of course he falls for the biggest skank in the group: some bitchy model who has an "f-list" of the girls she hates. it's almost like a G-rated version of Rock of Love without Bret Michaels, bandannas, or interesting females. no creepy eyeliner. no barfing at the dinner table. nothing. just nothing.

how does this happen? how does every girl fall in love with Ben? where do all the rejected girls come up with those tears? how is it that none of them have ever donkey punched the bitchy model? how do they find sponsors to keep this show on air? maybe that's why Ben looks confused all the time ... maybe he's just enjoying the free booze and getting some ass. because he can. why not? good for you.

i kept waiting. i kept waiting for it to get more interesting. and it just didn't. all i wanted was one girl to say, yeah, i don't see it. i don't have feelings for him. no matter how much i drink, or even, shit! ANOTHER cold sore?pass the Valtrex.

there is no depth to the souls of these people. no real conversations. nothing that isn't completely expected or superficial or stupid. no crazy saxophone player or ventriloquist. it's just horrifically dull. 

huh. so this is what happens on the first day of being unemployed? terrifying.