tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46812914970075873882012-02-16T10:24:37.294-07:00..................random excerpts from the beautiful disaster that is my lifecarlsbergnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1771100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-41850968441098171882012-02-06T22:59:00.004-07:002012-02-06T23:02:21.207-07:00

let me in.  no. let me in. nooo.  it's me. old age. creeping in. you let me in! Corduroy by Pearl Jam The waiting drove me mad... you're finally here and I'm a mess I take your entrance back... can't let you roam inside my head I don't want to take what you can give... I would rather starve than eat your bread... I would rather run but I can't walk... Guess I'll lie alone just like before..

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-1147301882959459642012-02-04T01:05:00.000-07:002012-02-04T01:06:51.693-07:00

2012 is definitely a New Year. it is a good year. a better year. it has already been a year of many firsts. (so what if it's only been a month! cut me some slack.) first time i've had resolutions and stuck to them. first year i've been easier on myself. first time i've dated a "nice" guy. first time i've been dumped. first time i've rocked a mullet. first year i've been real about stuff. first

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-53264389305994055832012-02-03T20:38:00.000-07:002012-02-03T20:38:06.493-07:00

in 30 seconds, reasons 1 through 100 why i am watching the super bowl this year ...

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-22235765558806665612012-02-01T00:52:00.000-07:002012-02-01T00:52:17.924-07:00

staying consistent with my lofty goals for 2012, i pledge to blog only about all things bright, new, and shiny. and serious. new, important things that will provide insight for all of mankind. topics dedicated to a cause. things i believe in. words formed together in sentences to make the world a better place. to that end, i would like to talk about this travesty: The Bachelor. holy jesus.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-47397388617641346772012-01-23T02:31:00.000-07:002012-01-23T02:32:38.653-07:00

one of my goals over the past couple of months was to let go of my incessant need to know. i have always been compelled to seek the reasons for, or truth about, motives, events, or actions of people. not because i want a juicy scoop or to validate myself, but just to understand shit. i consider myself an understanding person, forgiving to a fault, so it makes me curious when people keep things

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-65109232268940735192012-01-08T00:49:00.001-07:002012-01-08T00:49:59.595-07:00

best text messaging this year. maybe ever. Dear carly, Are you alive? Dear Bethie, I am alive. Let's jive. Happy New Year. How's your beaver? Xoxo Carlos Would love to jive Happy new year back I hear you have a new rack beaver appears dead Xoxo, Bethy

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-83343824129881246512011-12-31T17:58:00.000-07:002011-12-31T17:58:01.790-07:00

your favorite song   "Given to Fly" by Pearl Jam He could've tuned in, tuned in But he tuned out A bad time, nothing could save him Alone in a corridor, waiting, locked out He got up outta there, ran for hundreds of miles He made it to the ocean, had a smoke in a tree The wind rose up, set him down on his knee A wave came crashing like a fist to the jaw Delivered him wings, "Hey, look at me

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-50921843506747707632011-12-28T23:36:00.001-07:002011-12-28T23:39:52.452-07:00

in this past month, what have you learned? I have learned that I am strong. I have learned that The Teenager and I can pack up our house and move in three days if necessary. I have learned that this entire year has been one incredibly long test and it's finals week. Just have to hold on for a few more days. I have learned that my girls are truly the reason I do this every day. I have learned

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-65557356205543212242011-12-14T00:28:00.000-07:002011-12-14T00:56:10.360-07:00

a picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then. October 2010 December 2011 (c) j.h. 2011 the truth is. i have changed more in the past year than maybe my entire life. not physically. i mean, well, that too. yes, my hair is much shorter, i weigh a baby less, i live in a new town, i have two daughters instead of one, and i have a million more wrinkles. but my soul

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-83641779176772342512011-11-01T23:11:00.003-06:002011-11-01T23:23:17.169-06:00

why you are doing this 30 day challenge i was really in love with the idea when i saw it on my friend's blog. she would have lapses without mentioning her "30 Things" and i would beg her to finish. and then, i thought, i am going to do that. today, much like when i started, i am at a place where i have gotten out of the habit of writing because i'm exhausted or worn out. this little exercise is

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-31364632745452495552011-10-25T21:43:00.001-06:002011-10-25T21:44:05.926-06:00

what do you think about your friends i have to say to whomever passed out friends in heaven, i hit the motherload. i have amazing friends. i turned in my "boyfriend" and "shiny hair" cards to triple up on friends. and all but maybe two of my exes are now my friends, so i am incredibly happy i did. i think about and appreciate my friends a lot more than they realize. they make me sane. they love

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-37995987525469645122011-10-23T22:26:00.003-06:002011-10-23T22:29:27.944-06:00

what i would find in your bag i don't have a purse or a personal bag anymore. i have a bag for work. i also have a diaper bag. regardless, along with the necessities for on-the-go work and diapering, the following constants are found, shoved in various compartments: sunglasses, chap stick, driver license, a debit card, a pen, and a piece of paper. three years ago, i was the type of person that

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-29837955503511477762011-10-19T16:25:00.000-06:002011-10-19T16:28:51.051-06:00

a letter to your parents Along with the grammar revision for 30 Things, I would also implement new rules. For example, you should be able to "pass" one day. Meaning you don't have to do it but can instead blog about whatever. About a week ago CJ said I should let LJ dip her toast in chocolate milk. I immediately said, "Hey! My dad used to do that." CJ said, "That is my most vivid memory of when

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-58298178475295653632011-10-10T08:45:00.000-06:002011-10-10T16:49:10.802-06:00

something you crave for a lot above all else, i crave Big Macs. Side note: I have a strong urge to edit the "30 Things" list. The grammar, even the fragments, is terrible. Something you crave. Something you crave a lot. Just not, something you crave for a lot.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-63426460763656807772011-10-09T20:15:00.000-06:002011-10-10T16:47:22.898-06:00

whenever my computer becomes idle and i log back in, this iChat notification is displayed: and i always immediately want to click 'Don't Change'. or even more than that, it's almost a reminder telling me not to change. i won't, i can't, i don't ever want to change.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-40956837954194232882011-10-08T01:21:00.000-06:002011-10-08T01:23:26.899-06:00

i guess i expected the turn i've been waiting for, for so long, to come in some grandiose form. i'd meet a blue-eyed stranger and fall madly in love; i would win the lottery; i'd catch a huge break; i'd be discovered; my book would write itself; one day i'd wake up and everything would be okay; or at the very least, i'd be hit by a train. but when it's all said and done, it (whatever "it" is)

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-90455156144015443592011-09-22T23:57:00.002-06:002011-09-22T23:58:25.545-06:00

remember this? well, i never! indeed. some of my associates may say i never finish what i start. okay. accepted. but never? i may not always finish first, but dammit! i finish! and so. here we go. 22 coming in hot. what makes you different from everyone else nothing. wait, what? most of us are more alike than we think. we may not look the same, talk the same, or act the same, but we all want

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-46563969645246500002011-09-19T23:56:00.000-06:002011-09-20T00:26:51.714-06:00

no human is immune to dishonesty. on some level, we all do it. recently i was asked if there were varying degrees of dishonesty and i have spent some time thinking about that. yes, there are. i believe there are, anyway. if someone asks me if i am fine when i am not and i say, "yes." it's a form of dishonesty. my motive? to simply move on about my business and not worry or intrigue the other

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-56458443291538493652011-09-13T06:15:00.000-06:002011-09-13T06:17:06.250-06:00

the nights have turned colder. there is a distinct chill in the air. in my bones. if i had my way, i'd be somewhere warm heading into the cooler season instead of bracing myself for what i expect to be a miserably cold winter. everything in the world seems so fragile, so volatile. but there is something about the human spirit in soul wrenching pain that makes me thankful. i am feeling anything

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-88473719580143048352011-09-02T00:35:00.000-06:002011-09-02T00:35:16.448-06:00

sometimes i get to the point where i, selfishly, blurt out whatever i'm thinking. i guess you could say i have the "fight or flight" syndrome. i have a really strong physical reaction to things that happen in my life and i demand resolution NOW. recently i've tried a few new tactics like writing "STOP" on one hand and "THINK" on the other. or i'll sleep on a decision or impulse. or i'll walk out

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-62159607388660975752011-08-29T22:34:00.002-06:002011-10-08T22:45:22.453-06:00

i think it was his smile that made me fall in love with him. from the first time i met him, he was happy, unassuming, and sweet ... just up the stairs. we had a sleepover on the floor as a matter of happenstance. we were just friends. then ten years later on a cold october night i saw his smile -- crooked yet familiar -- and the clothes of a priest as he walked towards me. for the rest of the

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-17297574687126349422011-08-23T13:43:00.000-06:002011-08-23T13:43:35.064-06:00

what a month it's been. if you are familiar with the "old" me, you might appreciate this. or you might not. but i have learned a lot about myself in a very short time. it's the same old story with me over and over again. but i am me. take it or leave it. ups and downs are part of life and sometimes you keep getting knocked down and it takes 7000 reasons to finally try something new. and it's hell

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-19292065024432480532011-07-25T23:41:00.000-06:002011-07-25T23:41:31.951-06:00

how do you say ... i have great friends and family. i mean it. i have too many to count or list. i just feel like i should acknowledge them somehow. how do you say thankyouiloveyouyousavedmylifeiloveyou? it's been a really fast time. lots of things are happening. sometimes it feels like people are slipping through the cracks, and i need to tell them something. i wish they knew how i felt

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-47645036722941894942011-07-16T06:29:00.001-06:002011-07-16T06:32:21.300-06:00

i went to bed relatively early tonight. early for me. i have a hard time falling asleep but once i get there, i'm rock solid. no nightmares tonight. no drama. and yet at 3:40 am, i jolted awake in a complete panic. my heart is racing really, really fast. so i have adopted a rule ... even if you can't sleep, lay there. like Nate says, your body is still resting. just lay there. and so i did.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-32776472777068544562011-07-13T18:27:00.002-06:002011-07-16T04:48:25.858-06:00

so i have been gearing up for some improved quality of life and living. after a lot of thought and many discussions with people i respect, i am determined to make my move. literally. the first option was oregon. which not only flopped but left me discouraged and in tears. it literally brought me to my knees on the hot, gooey, blacktop at Lagoon. no longer an option. as prepared as i was for the

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-47000539187981601432011-07-01T16:48:00.002-06:002011-07-01T16:52:49.620-06:00

i am in love with the long summer days. 9pm with sunlight reminds me of being in college, sunburned and reckless. the past few nights, i have spent the end of each day on my front porch. and it's there i have my first quiet moments. instead of diving into the next project or cleaning up, i just go outside and breathe. i need more of this in my life. seasons and music seem to spark the most vivid

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-63078586872809050292011-06-30T00:01:00.003-06:002011-06-30T00:24:40.245-06:00

the world was right and i was wrong. again. but now i know. i work 20 hours out of every day. when i sleep, i wake up from nightmares. i am trying desperately hard to hold it together. there is an endless supply of both support and adversity that starts at 6am and continues throughout the day. and even when the lesson is learned, another blow comes my way. i try not to drool optimism nor

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-81217821966569213522011-06-20T02:09:00.001-06:002011-06-20T02:11:31.828-06:00

i've always been a big believer in change. and yet i play it safe. i always have. i have been saying for years that i want to move and then i always find a reason to stay. i have a lot of good reasons to stay. but today, i think i just realized i have more reasons to leave. and i think i'm ready. i think that is why i have found myself crippled with anxiety and heartache. and life has always

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-81200725339951893052011-06-19T00:48:00.003-06:002011-06-19T23:32:12.375-06:00

This evening I was lucky enough to have some time to myself in the city. LJ and I strolled downtown with no real purpose or destination. We were just out. Away from everything and enjoying the summer night in the city. And although I wasn't feeling very good, the summer air, the people out on the sidewalks, the music, the city ... it was familiar in a good way. And I met up with some good

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-9467488625374156542011-06-09T04:29:00.001-06:002012-01-08T03:34:18.125-07:00

“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.” - Hunter S. Thompson Drugs: Perspective in my past. The conviction to NEVER let them be a part of my future. More importantly, to never let them be a part of my daughters' futures. Violence: Unnecessary unless totally necessary. Insanity: A little crazy, but it's nice. It is not my

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-70243810307172313222011-05-30T17:40:00.000-06:002011-05-30T17:40:55.310-06:00

there is proof that love exists. and that proof comes from the inexplicable pain i feel knowing i have lost my greatest love. my heart is not only broken, but shattered. i have no words to say. i have to live without answers and pour my soul into being a good mother. and even though every time i look into my baby's eyes, my heart breaks all over again, i have to find the strength to do what i've

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-6500915001084295222011-05-20T03:18:00.001-06:002011-05-20T03:20:27.443-06:00

it's raining outside. and i like it. i like the sound of it and i like the idea of everything being drenched and refreshed. of course, i would prefer it to be a warm, summer rain instead of this eerie, cold rain ... but it's kind of comforting to be in a warm, soft bed knowing it's cold outside. i know that i should be sleeping but there is something very calming about this late hour. the house

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-63854913865906647932011-05-18T23:30:00.001-06:002011-05-18T23:31:33.367-06:00

a picture of something that makes you happy.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-8164760203491335192011-05-14T03:21:00.002-06:002011-05-15T01:47:32.819-06:00

i think we all have truths that we hold on to. or maybe these are "stories" we tell ourselves and we believe them to be truths. either way, they become lifelong truths and there is a wrenching churn in our guts when a truth is challenged. for example, a truth i have always held was, "no matter what, i will take care of my girls. i can do it." and then when i get to those months where there is no

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-19006929520248184322011-05-10T02:07:00.003-06:002011-05-10T02:30:09.056-06:00

someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the futurewell, oddly enough, i can't answer this question easily. i have been married once. i have lived with someone after 10 years of being single. and now, i am happy being single and having my girls with me. i don't know that i will ever get married again. maybe. but not likely. if i found "the one". if "the one" exists. but i have always

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-59411895030978452932011-05-01T00:53:00.003-06:002011-05-11T02:09:25.240-06:00

it is impossible to be honest with others if you're not, first, honest with yourself. don't wait for people to show you that they care. if they do, you will know. don't will anything to "be," just let it. make the same mistake once or twice ... then stop. no matter how bad you want something -- so much that it makes life bend every part of you -- if you don't get it, you will understand why in

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-9151397010341740052011-04-28T23:40:00.002-06:002011-04-29T00:29:52.364-06:00

i have been thinking too much and not writing enough. and this is dangerous for me. because there is nothing harder than getting out of my head. except a court summons. or bad debt. here are some things i know:1. if i start crying, it might last for days. just like my best friend said. so i won't. not yet.2. i can have one more beer. tonight.3. i am not getting the message. i am trying too hard.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-22236268785011799282011-04-18T23:34:00.003-06:002011-04-19T00:27:37.827-06:00

18. plans/dreams/goals you have19. nicknames you have and why you have themI think I saw you walking in the city,Hips like boy's,The sun fell behind you and never stood up.My head plays it over and over.I think I heard you singing,'Oh poor sky, don't cry on meDid somebody break your heart again?Oh poor sky, don't cry on meAre you gonna fall apart again?'My head plays it over and over.Plans.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-49555229820996800962011-04-15T00:32:00.009-06:002011-05-11T02:16:25.547-06:00

i am IN LOVE with the show Due Date and am wondering if anyone else: a) loves it, too b) thinks it's the Planes, Trains, & Automobiles of our generation c) also wants Zack Galifianakis to be part of their family* d) thinks the movie has one of the most apropos soundtracks ever made .......... i can see heaven in my baby's big blue eyes. when she stares into mine, i wonder what she sees. .....

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-83352853852628566162011-04-10T08:34:00.001-06:002011-04-15T00:26:27.910-06:00

someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and whyWho else? Dr. Phil McGraw! I would want to switch places with Dr. Phil for one day for a number of reasons. I guess it would just be awesome to have the knowledge he has. With his knowledge, I could solve all of my life's mysterious. Or I guess he would since he'd be me? I hope I make a life map for me when I'm him.I would also like

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-27292124014617950742011-03-29T00:39:00.004-06:002011-03-29T01:17:00.055-06:00

15. put your iPod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play 16. another picture of yourselfboom. that's right, 30 Things. take that ... first i start losing interest, then i'll start short-cutting our relationship by doing two- in-one posts, then i'll ignore you, then i'll change my number ... and then i'll feel bad, there will be words said, and you'll be another part of my past that seemed so

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-22436434304057633692011-03-28T02:17:00.005-06:002011-03-29T04:27:12.946-06:00

I have a clean shot at six hours of sleep if I go to bed right now, but I can't shut off my brain. You know when you have the radio on SCAN and it just keeps going through each channel? That's how my brain works. Next thing you know you've been listen to 5 second spots for over 30 minutes.I am in a pisser of a mood tonight. But these days, if I can go to bed and no one has lost a limb, I count my

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-59456534732804902702011-03-25T01:16:00.004-06:002011-03-25T23:33:02.274-06:00

a picture of you and your familymy brother, two of my sisters, one brother-in-law, and the very famous Maximus are not pictured.this was taken last saturday. i love all of these people very much. (missing ones included.)

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-31385376596161074562011-03-24T03:44:00.003-06:002011-03-25T01:21:54.570-06:00

a letter to someone who has hurt you recentlyDear Bed Frame,The other day when I was cleaning, you hurt me. In fact, you may have broken my toe. What hurts the most is that you took off all of the polish from my recent pedicure. So now it sticks out, red and swollen, and unpolished. I don't think you understand how severe the pain has been. How? How could you hurt me like this?In time, I will

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-54656921786500569572011-03-23T01:57:00.006-06:002011-03-23T02:53:22.807-06:00

how you found out about blogger and why you have onei don't remember how i found out about blogger. i think i invented blogging actually. i started a website in 2001 that was basically a blog. and i was always creating online journals and talking about trips and documenting weird stuff.my first "official" blog on blogger was published in 2005 and i had no idea why it was called a "blog" or how to

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-2359332261217578842011-03-16T21:01:00.008-06:002011-03-16T21:21:09.011-06:00

65 years ago today, my gramps and grams got married.i wish i could have been at their wedding. i wish i could see their love in its youth.i wish i could see their youth and smiles and happiness.my grandma said tonight, "i am mad at him. i am mad at him for leaving me here."i don't blame her, but i am sure glad he did.chloe and i have been reading the letters he sent to her when he was in WW2. the

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-87013158967078506952011-03-09T15:16:00.006-07:002011-03-09T15:37:33.188-07:00

another picture of you and your friendsthis is where my OCD kicks in. i have so many friends that are so good to me that i feel like i need to post about 100 pictures. i know i haven't included everyone, but i have taken the liberty to post more pictures than the rules allow.true friends check in on you even when you don't respond. they come visit and send notes to cheer you up.lifelong friends

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-48295881618484696472011-02-16T13:22:00.013-07:002011-03-01T17:33:28.216-07:00

songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, madrather than have this post bleed like a haemophiliac on coumadin, i decided to refer only to songs that i have listened to recently. you see, the soundtrack to my life began at an early age. it is probably several hundred GB by now. i'll start that project another time. until then, the songs fueling my life right now are listed below.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-65576808937882488892011-02-14T23:45:00.008-07:002011-02-15T10:24:52.699-07:00

The history of Valentine's Day is shady in itself. Present day, the U.S. has bastardized any true representation of love by turning it into tacky commercialism. And why? Because we only need to express our love one day a year, and with overpriced teddy bears and flowers? Gag.Now for the perverted part(s).Here are some other things I hate about Valentine's Day. Well, I think it's gross when people

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-43602504933150226952011-02-14T13:13:00.002-07:002011-02-14T14:19:37.168-07:00

something you're proud of in the past few dayshmmm. something or someone?well, i am proud of my mom. she is almost finished with chemo. and she has had a lot of grace through treatment. i mean, from the beginning. she has had an unbelievable attitude. i feel like she is genuine in her words and actions. and still drug free. and how.i am also proud that i didn't completely fall apart at jiffy lube

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-27109525971016722552011-02-09T21:56:00.001-07:002011-02-10T04:04:16.064-07:00

This picture of Chloe and my grandpa was taken in March of 1998. I can only assume we were celebrating Mindy's birthday because of the date. That would make Chloe just over one year old and Gramps 76 years old in this picture. He lived to be 86; Chloe was ten years old when he died. He passed away four years ago today. So instead of celebrating his birthday every year, we now observe his death.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-1932707158015306502011-02-07T23:47:00.007-07:002011-02-08T02:36:33.426-07:00

me:hello february 7th.tell me this isn't happening.february 7th:Oh. This IS happening.You're 36 now. Say it aloud. Thirty-six. You can't keep spinning your tires. It isn't getting you anywhere. You have a 14-year-old daughter, you know. And now you have a 3-month-old daughter. Your star is sparkling a little less brightly now. All stars burn out. They have to make room for the brighter stars--the

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-68099191822193975432011-02-06T02:39:00.004-07:002011-02-06T02:55:06.750-07:00

short term goals for this month and whyGoal: Let go.Why: It's time.Goal: Start and finish thank you cards.Why: It's never too late to let people know you appreciate them.Goal: Register my car.Why: It's expired.Goal: Find my map.Why: I need to get back on track.Goal: Get out of bed everyday, keep my head up, believe in myself, know my truth, and be grateful.Why:Justin Hackworth Photography

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-66832602872327536672011-02-03T16:53:00.004-07:002011-02-03T17:04:08.206-07:00

a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-63160606491671984302011-02-01T12:02:00.005-07:002011-02-02T00:55:11.217-07:00

favorite super hero and whyMy favorite super hero is Wonder Woman of course! She not only kicks ass ... but she looks super hot doing it. She has a great strength of character and, most importantly, an incredible wardrobe. Wonder Woman's style is classy and functional. Her boots are the jam. I want to do flips and jumps and back handsprings in 5" heels. Another reason she is my favorite is

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-65769280893978702142011-01-31T16:14:00.001-07:002011-02-01T04:50:21.217-07:00

a picture of somewhere you've beenplaya del carmen, mexico

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-25262550548813091082011-01-30T22:55:00.005-07:002011-01-31T02:38:41.811-07:00

a habit that you wish you didn't havebeing late. i am always late. i know it really bothers people and suggests that i think my time is more valuable than theirs. but that is not the case. i don't do it to be rude or selfish, and i am not an inconsiderate person. i am just flawed. i'll try harder.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-71740947292740625282011-01-29T03:27:00.003-07:002011-01-29T03:33:38.688-07:00

a picture of you and your friends** i have so many friends that deserve recognition here. i wish i could post more than one picture but ... you know who you are without a silly photo on my blog.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-45215674751380369422011-01-28T23:04:00.005-07:002011-01-28T23:13:34.321-07:00

the meaning behind your blog namenothing profound. it's like a band that never thinks they'll be famous so they give the band a wretched name. that is not to say that i ever thought this blog would be famous - or read for that matter - i just didn't put a lot of thought into it.it's just a little taste of my life. try it. like it or spit it out.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-37744135199931302572011-01-27T23:03:00.003-07:002011-02-02T17:11:19.063-07:00

recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself1. Since I was 8 years old, I have had an obsession with Barney Clark.2. When I was in middle school, I wrote in my Learning Log about a family growing up during difficult times. In the opening paragraph, the grandmother (in the story) said, "Sit down and eat your grub." My teacher circled "grub" with a bright red pen and wrote 'GRUB?

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-26777592437207931862011-01-24T06:47:00.007-07:002011-02-01T04:51:14.092-07:00

30 Things about MeI was lamenting about my neglected blog when I saw this little project on my friend Erin's blog. It inspired me! I am going to do it, if for no other reason than to start writing more. So, yes I am a copy cat and you should be too!Here is what you can expect for the next 30 days:day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourselfday 2- the meaning behind your

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-18577553063249426072011-01-03T16:51:00.007-07:002011-01-04T20:44:14.083-07:00

from the second i gave birth to both of my daughters, i was spell bound. suddenly, there is no need for nutrition or sleep. nothing outside of the hospital room matters. there is no want for anything but to hold and love this perfect, tiny, amazing human being. hours and hours are spent watching them sleep.she's been in this world for 4 minutes.she's been in the world for 6 hours.she's only been

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-29160751683704125922010-12-01T19:15:00.005-07:002011-02-02T17:17:41.242-07:00

my life has a lot of different chapters. some worth reading two or three times, some not even worth skimming the pages. and then there are those chapters that you bookmark. you highlight the characters, events, dates; even the smallest tiny detail is treasured. it is so intense you hang on to every second, not wanting to miss anything, not wanting to forget one second.the last month has been one

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-37611197528011699932010-09-30T10:21:00.006-06:002011-02-02T17:21:38.569-07:00

Towards the end of 2009 I could feel that a change was coming. I knew this year would be different. I knew that something big was about to happen. Still, if I had been told what that 'something' was, I don't know that I would have believed it. I guess that is the conundrum of life -- untangling choices, relationships, surprises, and challenges and making it all work.In February on my 35th

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-83586431236762540422010-08-24T22:27:00.004-06:002011-02-02T17:26:34.535-07:00

There is no real purpose to this post, other than to get a few things off my chest. My writing tonight is the equivalent of finally dropping off those old clothes at Goodwill.I feel stupid. I feel like I need to learn something new by taking a class, reading a book, or traveling to another country. Or I need to find a totally different career. Or maybe I just need to have more interesting

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-90540886735253229922010-08-12T17:06:00.007-06:002011-02-02T18:03:27.671-07:00

See this lady? She's 30 today.Tawny aka Terry aka Tootsie aka Tawn Tawn aka Little Critter joins the dirty 30 club today. My little sister, all grown up! What can I say ...To know Tawny is to love her. How could you not? She is one of the most genuine, sweet, caring, funny people I know. You can trust her forever and she has a huge heart. Tawny is sensitive yet feisty. You want her on your side .

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-25651826066604048402010-08-10T22:07:00.004-06:002010-08-10T22:49:16.286-06:00

... i left on a sour note. mad at the small town antics i typically adore. but i'm back. i thought i had run out of words, or rather they had lost their meanings. and maybe for awhile both assumptions were true.i did some things last month. setting my bitterness aside, i set out on a flurry of activity and organized chaos. ah, summer.here is a crash course of my time line from june to present:it

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-27231741625592155232010-06-22T17:32:00.003-06:002010-06-22T17:51:37.310-06:00

Today I made the mistake of going out in public. Typically I try to avoid social situations, especially on Tuesdays when all the stupid people seem to flock to the streets.First, suffice it to say that bad drivers should be shot. Maybe it's time to ban cell phones and iPods all together. Or, for the lady who almost side-swiped me, put down your fucking cheeseburger and DRIVE! As she was feeding

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-1774533674148662542010-05-26T13:42:00.006-06:002010-05-26T14:41:16.194-06:00

May has been sprinkled with every color of candy sugar available.The stomach flu tore through the house making Chloe deathly ill for 18 hours and then hitting me for about 36 hours. The flu and heartbreak of The Boy moving to Alaska were followed by good things like Mother's Day, eight blissful days in Mexico, seeing The National in San Diego, Chloe successfully completing her first year of

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-51449919624563761702010-05-10T00:08:00.004-06:002010-05-10T00:14:17.953-06:00

who says i don't deserve Prada on mother's day?and who says i can't leave the country for 8 days?nobody.that's who.this vacation couldn't come at a better time.i am ready. sooooo ready.goodbye normal life ... please be more awesome when i see you again.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-60223721759002974822010-05-05T22:39:00.004-06:002010-05-27T06:39:11.916-06:00

Remember last year's Cinco de Mayo? Yea, me neither.Today I trolled around town looking for my Fantasma but he didn't appear. I thought this year perhaps he would come in the form of a rodent or an ice cube ... but he has not shown up yet. Maybe he is a city ghost. Maybe the country is too remote for even a spirit.My sister and Brett hosted a pretty awesome Cinco de Mayo party. I made an

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-70572413755473940082010-05-04T23:32:00.004-06:002010-05-05T01:30:37.092-06:00

I would like to be on the committee that is publishing the next edition of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Because I don't think the words I need have been invented yet. The reason I say this is because I am sitting here with so many things I need to express but simply cannot come up with anything to write. And it's not a case of writer's block nor is it due to a lack of focus or clarity. I am

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-48673283305617101872010-04-27T23:25:00.002-06:002010-04-27T23:34:24.033-06:00

it's never fun when you are involved in an intervention; especially when you are the person the intervention is focused on. and that's exactly what happened to me last weekend.i am not proud of it but part of my recovery is talking about it.my big sister was in town and she, along with my other two sisters, convinced me that a change was needed. they were right.after two days i caved to their

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-79413957872779310452010-04-22T18:45:00.001-06:002010-04-22T18:47:46.603-06:00

happy birthday, handsome.we miss you more than words can express.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-43793464081637584002010-04-18T19:00:00.007-06:002010-08-10T22:59:38.187-06:00

I thought once I got out of junior high school I wouldn't have to worry about immature people trying to make me miserable. But, alas, I have been proven wrong ... and at the age of 35. I guess some people just don't know when to stop. Resorting to "exposing" my private life on my blog is really the last straw. Advertising something very important and intimate to me that I would like to keep

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-354764317814173232010-04-12T00:45:00.006-06:002010-04-12T01:13:38.423-06:00

I am NOT boring. Maybe. Most of the time?Shit.I think I might be boring! What does this mean?Ten reasons I fear this to be true:1. I look forward to watching Brian Mullahy on the weekend news.2. I was sober at the Spoon concert and 3. was incredibly annoyed by how drunk people were around me.4. I get aggravated when people bump into me.5. Most of my status updates are about food.6. I only have

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-48284867955906721092010-04-10T00:41:00.003-06:002010-04-10T01:09:29.494-06:00

My sleep forecast is predicting little or no chance of slumber tonight so I thought I would share one of my favorite pastimes: free online translation! It takes everyday conversations and turns them into super-fun-laughing times. Ahem, for example.English: I have heartburn and think celebrities are creepy.freetranslation.com to Spanish: Tengo acidez y pienso que las celebridades son

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-91200854928749242102010-04-07T12:45:00.008-06:002010-04-07T15:22:47.968-06:00

Just when you thought you loved The National more than life, you learn to love them more.How?First things first: Matt Berninger is sporting a golden beard that puts all other beards to shame. It's undeniably mysterious and magnificent. What? It is. Shave your faces, men ... you cannot compete with this.Second: High Violet dropping May 11.The just released High Violet track list:01 Terrible Love02

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-33209465534416650942010-04-06T14:31:00.006-06:002010-04-06T14:50:47.334-06:00

I am not 100% sure if this is the cure all for insomnia ... but it's a start.Three words: memory foam mattress.It'll change your life. If you have a great bed, buy a topper. It is amazing.If you still are miserable, I recommend a fan. I picked up a jumbo fan at the walmarts to get the air circulating and it's great. Plus the loud humming covers up downstair noises. Double bonus!Here are a few

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-31673664566693308422010-04-02T13:32:00.012-06:002010-04-02T14:01:22.163-06:00

I live in a crappin' old house. And since I have a hard time stomaching the sight of my mother eating plastic and singing to imaginary animals, I find stuff to do. Most recently, I learned how to tile. I went to Home Depot and bought some stuff and just did it. My shower had started to flood the bathroom anytime anyone other than I showered. So to avoid user error and clean up potentially

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-74377887202777195892010-04-01T01:00:00.003-06:002010-04-01T01:21:03.705-06:00

Guess what time of the month it is?That's right! Time for "Annoying Things That Make Me Physically Sick"!And ... go!1. Time for my mom to get her prescriptions refilled. This means two days of her binging and zombie-like antics. This includes each of her eyes going different directions when you talk to her (creepy). Bonus annoying side effects: extremely loud snoring/sleep whistling that I can

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-24533536034484866082010-03-22T02:15:00.030-06:002010-04-02T14:15:11.317-06:00

In no particular order...Lunch with old friendsSoda popPinkyTattoosBabysitting sleepytime babiesSunshineCoffeeKeebler's new Cheesecake MiddlesChampagne and red wineStella and JamesonVinylThis lady:MexicoThe smell of old booksMcDonald'sGameday BabiesYea, so obviously ... I am very lucky.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-84411379188065649982010-03-19T14:38:00.006-06:002010-03-19T15:08:01.180-06:00

trust /trʌst/ Show Spelled[truhst]1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety of a person or thing; confidence.2. confident expectation of something; hope.No where in the definition of trust does it explain how to earn it or how fragile it is. Maybe it's because it is an inherent practice we learn over time. That we continually surround ourselves with people we can trust, and we

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-17798306350756588572010-03-18T22:12:00.002-06:002010-03-18T22:44:19.460-06:00

I love March Madness. More than I love ... coffee. And that's a lot.I missed half of the games today but I am not ashamed to say that my ticket to Vampire Weekend inadvertently went unused because the allure of madness was so strong. Nor am I ashamed to say that I plan on staying in bed until at least 1pm tomorrow watching games.It is a simple kind of love. One that might be tested by a few

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-1023739512431270632010-03-15T03:34:00.004-06:002010-03-15T04:25:29.854-06:00

I really don't like daylight saving time. Especially when I have incurable insomnia. It really adds extra yucky-ness to the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.I have read a million different articles on insomnia (okay, maybe fifty). Is it better to lie in bed and force yourself to meditate? Is it more stressful to toss and turn and worry about not sleeping? Should I get up and work? Or read?

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-616293286636157872010-03-09T23:48:00.000-07:002010-03-10T00:35:32.093-07:00

I have been reminding myself to breathe, just breathe, for the last few weeks. I didn't really notice I was doing it until I stopped remembering to remind myself - at which point I found myself whirling in frequent dizzy spells or sitting down to catch my breath.Stop.Just.Breathe.Where is all the oxygen going? Why are my lungs failing me? Open up that rib cage and breathe!Life is definitely (

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-58910769203535399652010-02-28T03:11:00.013-07:002010-03-12T02:31:13.993-07:00

i have a friend named Lancaster aka Melanie. she is smart. she lives on the coast. she sends me awesome things like this. (i totally made out with him once ... when he was a Chippendale.) she enjoys sunsets and fine cuisine. we are intellects and discuss important things over brie and wine.i have a friend named Nate-Dogg-Momlinson. it was his birthday yesterday. i missed his birthday party and it

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-42154105494943636502010-02-22T20:42:00.005-07:002010-04-30T01:21:56.314-06:00

a long, long time ago i was going through a very difficult, heartbreaking time. it seems like a dream. i was a zombie going through the motions of something i would never do.i asked a lady named Mary if she would give me something like valium because i had to go home and deal with a crazy family.she said no. and then she stopped, turned around and said, "you don't have to hang with crazy, you can

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-71031740579627778162010-02-16T20:43:00.003-07:002010-02-16T21:11:27.746-07:00

i got the following text from The Teenager this evening. when we were laying in bed, i asked her where she found it and she casually said, "i just wrote it."i love the things you say to me, but i can also hate them too.i love the way you act around me, and i love the way i act around you.i love your smile, and also your heart... but i hate the way i act whenever we're apart.you've always got me

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-12755486873512860902010-02-09T20:49:00.003-07:002010-02-09T21:35:04.840-07:00

over the last three years, not one day has gone by that i haven't missed my gramps. he came and visited my grandma last night ... but i haven't seen him for a while. sometimes i dream about him. i think he is happy because the sun was shining today. i wish he was here. i wish i could see him smile. i miss watching the Jazz games with him. i even miss him fighting with my grandma. they yelled at

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-45264832520806807052010-02-08T19:40:00.004-07:002010-02-08T20:07:37.281-07:00

prepare to be jealous. very, very, very jealous.see this?not impressed? guess whose sugary sweet boyfriend got her tickets to the San Diego show at the historical Spreckels Theatre?mine! mine! mine!birthday wishes do come true.The National! The National! The National!the tickets are down my pants right now.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-87073093005955717592010-02-07T13:59:00.006-07:002010-02-07T14:26:40.115-07:00

Today is my birthday. One the best things about being born on February 7th is that the Super Bowl falls on your birthday about every five years. This year is one of those years. Sure I'd love to be in Miami watching the game, but sitting in my pajamas and being with my daughter is heaven to me. I can't wait for the game and I am equally excited to see The Who perform at halftime. Pretty sweet

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-2389905763996137292010-02-06T09:47:00.013-07:002010-02-06T16:16:30.919-07:00

It is Saturday morning and it is raining outside. I woke up around 7:30 am with a headache and haven't been able to go back to sleep. I don't mind the headache, though. I haven't had a hangover for a long time and the pain was a pleasant reminder of last night: a much needed girls night with two of my sisters and several girlfriends.I tried to wake up Nick and explain to him that today is the

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-73297968545579632512010-02-04T20:10:00.006-07:002010-03-15T03:29:39.378-06:00

i had a dream the other night that i saved the world. it went like this: those still alive on the planet knew that destruction was near so all survivors gathered around for a pearl jam concert as the anticipated flames of the fire (that was destroying the earth) encroached towards us. i, unwilling to accept eradication of the world, used my powers to turn the fire into a huge tarp of some kind

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-51203368834008678812010-01-24T10:53:00.005-07:002011-10-31T05:35:31.717-06:00

It's Sunday. I went to bed last night at... 8pm, I think. Nevertheless I woke up at 3am and was completely cranky. As the sun rose and the coffee brewed, I started taking care of business. Apparently, people DO work on Sundays (outside of Utah). I would like to give big props for those dedicated people. First on my list was Wells Fargo ... this has been an ongoing issue since the end of

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-35895166989179217302010-01-21T00:20:00.005-07:002010-01-23T02:19:41.583-07:00

As Karma so sweetly pointed out, I did indeed change my blog design and photos for 2010. I decided that there is no better time than the New Year to make such changes. I am surprised how fast a year goes by. So ... good bye to the previous look and feel of Just Try One Bite:And good bye to 2009 ... I can't say that I'll miss ya.

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-60128996783610153772010-01-15T10:20:00.010-07:002010-01-15T21:54:20.684-07:00

You read it right. It is not a spelling error. It is plural.I have several announcements to make and I would like to list them as the consummate professional I am. As such, I am volunteering my time and energy to sponsor--to publish these very important public announcements.Public Service Announcement One:I have found the remedy for the 10-day flu/illness/swine flu/sickness from hell. It is

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-45991247830394624552010-01-13T18:41:00.006-07:002010-01-15T10:17:45.140-07:00

sometimes i complain. i am trying not to but god dammit, i am only human.i don't have any complaints at the moment. but i am a contradiction expert of sorts.for example, i'll say 'no' when i mean 'yes'. i will smile when i am not happy. i'll pretend to be listening but i am not, usually. or i'll say i don't complain when it's a well known fact that all i do is complain. and i have also been

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-88406229153938330812010-01-03T00:06:00.007-07:002010-01-03T01:45:46.358-07:00

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?I kiss 2009 goodbye with love. Not really interested in looking back on anything terrible, I am just looking forward.And, I have to say, 2010 has been a good year for me. I really have loved every minute of it so far. Minimal hangovers, amazing friends, my grandma's birthday party with lots of family ... AND I have already given my

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681291497007587388.post-46780948080140783382009-12-21T05:36:00.021-07:002009-12-24T00:57:25.201-07:00

Sometimes simplicity is more complex than one would ever imagine.Sometimes Jews are stranger than Christians.And sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.And that explains why I absolutely loathe the holidays. I hate the commercialism; I hate not having money; I hate the expectation kids have for an obscene amount of gifts; and I hate the day after Thanksgiving when 6:00 am tramplings at Walmart

carlsbergnoreply@blogger.com4