Thursday, February 13, 2014


i am feeling melancholy.
it's cold, it's dark, it makes me weary.
my calendar confirms it's february.

39 things i did on my 39th birthday:

1. made cupcakes.
2. got a pedicure.
3. ate a steak.
4. drank some beer.
5. drank some whiskey.
6. cried when my baby sister gave me a thoughtful gift.
7. cried when The Teenager made me breakfast, surprised me with the perfect gift, and spent the entire day with me.
8. cried when my baby sang me happy birthday, several times.
9. ignored the terrifying thoughts of old age.
10. cried when i received a card from my dad that started with "hey baby girl" in his immaculate handwriting.
11. was humbled.
12. ate gross pizza.
13. ate delicious cinnamon ice cream.
14. went to the arcade and played games.
15. watched the Olympics.
16. kissed someone.
17. got happy birthday messages from my favorite people.
18. accepted all the love i was offered.
19. missed my grandpa.
20. saw three of my five nieces and nephews.
21. missed my sisters.
22. drove to see the frozen water falls with my girls.
23. accidentally grabbed the relief society president's boob.
24. ate red velvet cake.
25. made jewelry for a family who lost their dad/husband.
26. ate butterfinger ice cream.
27. ate 18 butterfinger hearts.
28. watched it snow.
29. blew out candles.
30. took a nap.
31. was grateful.
32. laughed.
33. painted my fingernails.
34. marveled at my wrinkles.
35. didn't answer my phone once.
36. vowed to make this last year in my 30's count.
37. realized 2x7=14 so 2/7/14 was an amazing day to have a birthday.
38. wished garth brooks a happy birthday.
39. celebrated all the good in my life.

my arms have all i can carry. i don't know why i resisted this february.