BURN

what a month it's been. if you are familiar with the "old" me, you might appreciate this. or you might not. but i have learned a lot about myself in a very short time. it's the same old story with me over and over again. but i am me. take it or leave it. ups and downs are part of life and sometimes you keep getting knocked down and it takes 7000 reasons to finally try something new. and it's hell. and you fucking hate it. but you do it. and then you realize that you have finally embraced your life.

i believe that taking chances is better than settling.
i believe that i may have given my daughters life, but they are the ones who truly give me life. everyday.
i believe that bf/gf relationships are painful and temporary. just like a great bikini wax.
i believe that having a cigarette on your porch is better than punching someone in the face.
i believe that it's probably best not to look for trouble. it will find you.
i believe in sticking to my guns. and when the perfect time comes. once in awhile. even though it is hard as shit. laying them down and walking away. waiting to feel the bullet in your back.
i believe in taking my grandma to the doctor even when i'm busy.
i believe in honesty. no matter how bad it sucks.
i believe in loving your family, and letting them love you.
i believe in falling fast and hard. and falling hard is not awesome. but it's a new start.
i believe that doing the right thing is not fun. and it doesn't pay off. and it makes you mad. but it's the right thing. so do it. do what you say you're going to do.
i believe that my grandpa answered my prayers this month.
i believe that people believe what they want to believe.
i believe in forgiving yourself. and others. and then yourself for forgiving others. and repeat.

i believe that you should go with your gut. it is never wrong.

i believe in loving myself first and taking care of myself. and that the Rolling Stones did make great music. i just didn't need it until now.

i believe that surrounding myself with positive energy and the right people is exactly what i need.

for the first time, i have forced myself to step back. walk away. lay down my guns. and let go. just walk away. take some time. this is something i usually don't like or appreciate when others do, but this time it feels good. i might live a little bit crazy. i'm not perfect. it just seems like a little bit crazy is better than being exhaustingly predictable.

all this shitty ridiculous running to stand still livin' is over. i'm me. 


and i'm the best i've ever been.