Friday, March 19, 2010

t r u s t

trust [truhst]
1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety of a person or thing; confidence.
2. confident expectation of something; hope.

No where in the definition of trust does it explain how to earn it or how fragile it is. Maybe it's because it is an inherent practice we learn over time. That we continually surround ourselves with people we can trust, and we learn from experiences when people demonstrate who we shouldn't trust. Because let's face it, nothing is more hurtful than the moment you realize someone you trusted betrayed you.

I read a brave blog entry about detaching ourselves from relationships that may be expired. And it made me think about the law of attraction. Maybe we attract certain types of people in our lives so we can learn. And we continue to attract these same relationships until we make the decision to consciously reject a certain type of behavior. At what point do we stop giving and start looking out for ourselves? And when do we totally learn to trust ourselves enough to be brave?

The hardest part about "friendship euthanasia" is that usually the person who ultimately has to end the relationship is the person that cares the most and is hurt the most. Because no matter how much trust you have in someone, and no matter how much you hope for someone, the "someone" in the equation determines the outcome.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

Marilyn Monroe

I believe that, too. All of it. Thanks for sharing, Karma.


  1. sometimes you do have to end relationships with friends and/or lovers. How many chances should you give them, though? I have ended relationships before and found out shortly after -but too late- that I was doing something just as bad to them. I have seen people drastically improve after I ended the friendship also. tough choice!!

  2. Preach on my soul-sista. Any time, any time...the subject of my blog has been a "friend" for going on 16 years. I am exasperated so much that I wrote that crying my eyes out while she was alseep in the next bed over the last night in Chicago... I can't do it anymore. I have so many friends I don't see because I spent so much time with her. Time for the scales to tip back over to the friends-who-want-to-be-with-me scale. The other thing that kills (KILLS) me is that I'm the one who finally has to say enough is enough and then I end up looking like the bitch to all our mutual friends because (again) I have to call it quits. Makes me want to disappear for like a year and see who really makes an effort to find me or who really wants to know where I was while I was gone...those are the people who really matter.

    Ok...enough complaining. I'm still in Hawaii. Aloha!!!

  3. Anonymous ... maybe they drastically improved because you were out of their lives? Interesting point of view. If the friends and lovers that you ended the relationship with not only improved without you but also felt that you were doing "something just as bad" to them, it's likely you are the one who broke the trust? Something to think about...

    Karma ... enjoy Hawaii. You aren't the bitch. If you don't look out for yourself, who will? Your REAL friends. Have fun, relax, and things will work out!


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