30 Things: Day 12

how you found out about blogger and why you have one

i don't remember how i found out about blogger. i think i invented blogging actually. i started a website in 2001 that was basically a blog. and i was always creating online journals and talking about trips and documenting weird stuff.

my first "official" blog on blogger was published in 2005 and i had no idea why it was called a "blog" or how to use it correctly, or put more than one picture in each post. anyway, i took my grandma and c.j. to Graceland and created a real blog about it. kinda.

of course, blog masterpieces such as Halloween and Disneyland would hit the world wide web shortly after.

apparently 2005 was a big year.

just one bite came along in 2009 because it felt like a good outlet for my personal writing. and blogger had evolved into a better environment, more about music and stories and dating and life instead of quilts and family vacations (do NOT say it). i keep it and write in it now because it really is therapy for myself. i write to remember, to learn, and because it's easy on here. it keeps me sane. it gets it out of my brain and somewhere else. i have many, many posts that i will never publish but that i had to get out. they sit in my drafts like little shaking boxes tied and wrapped with string and tape, waiting to get out to destroy.

aside from just one bite i have a blog about my adorable family to keep in touch with relatives that i don't see very often.

so there's the how and the why.

the "what" is that i wish i would never have been so zealous about this 30 day thing. it's making me crazy. i want to write about how i built a desk with my bare hands, what life is like when you are a hermit and don't have the Internet at home, or about the day my belief was restored that people are good; that it's harder to accept than give. i want to break up with 30 Things right now. "it's not you, it's me. i don't have the time to give you the attention you deserve. you have so many questions and i am too busy. i feel like you're 'telling' me what to write and i ..."

story of my life? fine. i'll finish the damn thing.