This morning, when I couldn't squeeze into any of my pants, I started regretting all the Big Macs and dark beer I've been consuming over the last few weeks. I've had an insatiable appetite as of late and it's catching up with me. I think I do this every summer; sabotage any chance of going to the pool. Despite having the flu last week, I think I managed to put on 12 pounds.
Speaking of regrets, I heard a lot of 'em last week. So instead of continuing to stare blankly at a growing pile of tootsie roll wrappers, I thought I'd write some of them down, ahem, type them up. Down, up, whatever.
"I am already regretting my outfit."
"I have been regretting last night's Beto's all morning."
"I regret wearing the same clothes to work two days in a row, without a bra."
"I've pretty much been regretting every decision I made since 9 o'clock last night."
The thing about regrets though, is that they don't seem to stop us from doing anything. Consequences stop us. Regrets hardly detour us. Regrets are like the ultimate disclaimer: I regret to inform you (but I'm going to anyway). It's essentially apologizing in advance. I am sorry I have to do this but... I do. I am going to regret drinking this whiskey, gulp. Don't make me regret this relationship. I already do.
I can say, with sincerity, that I have made one decision in my life that I truly regret. Everything else I'd probably do again. Because I have happy regrets. My mistakes make me who I am, too.
I regret the 8 Hershey's kisses and 4 minature hersey bars in the last hour.
ReplyDeleteI regret that I stuck to 1 day of the 2 week detox after buying $80 worth of organic food at Trader Joe's last week.
I regret that I called someone daddy last week and he was a) not my father and b) not anyone's father.
(sigh)
ha ha. oh, lauren. you are maybe the funniest person i know :)
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