Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Crazed Grammy

I am pretty sure that my grandma has been possessed by a demon. She has been talking nonstop for the last six hours. I took her to the bank, the grocery store, and KFC today. There was an incident at the grocery store over toilet paper that was supposed to be on sale. I don't remember the details because I think I was having a brain aneurism, but it involved the '15 Items or Less' line and a rain check.

Now that Grandma can't drive, I have become her personal slave. Ok, I was her slave before but now it's worse.

Here is a live feed of her ramblings. Keep in mind there is no real interaction with others. This just goes on and on and on and on and on...

"Mehmet, you're not doing very well tonight. Jocey! Last time we had 40 points. Or 30 something I guess. Good shot boys. It's about time you do something. You guys. (Unidentified growling sound.) Anybody want a little drink of eggnog or are they too full? Huh? I know. You're supposed to have that before. Where you going with that cup? Oh, okay. You sure are cute. You sure look cute since Chloe bathed you and combed your hair. Just for a second. Thirteen. Is it seven o'clock yet? Oh. Hey that's a dog's bone. That child. They had the ugliest people on last night that I've ever seen. There's little Archuleta. Is that the doorbell? That's what the dog says I guess. Oh, they're such pesty people. Just because I want to watch American Idol or the ballgame. Sunny. (Insert a big bite of coleslaw.) This don't taste like their coleslaw. (With her mouth still full.) Are they better tonight? Oh I meant to pick up those plates and I didn't do it. Oh well. I'll get 'em. Gosh, my nose is running like a damn sieve..."

Tomorrow I get to take her to Seniors, pick her up, and then take her to a doctor appointment. Because, as she put it to a friend, "Carly doesn't have anything better to do. She'll run me around."

I love my grandma but I do have something better to do. I have lots of somethings better I could be doing, and probably should be doing. For example, I could be saving what's left of my sanity. I could be getting a master's degree. I could be traveling, working, writing, volunteering, paying my bills, exercising... but, dammit, I love her. I am a big softy. She has an evil side, that much I'm sure of, but she's my grammy. I don't know how else to explain it.

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